I’ve killed more people than Ted Bundy.
Coming to terms with the fact that I was a professional mass murderer was devastating, but it compelled me to speak the truth.
I began my medical career believing the modern clichés that women must have total control over our bodies, and that it’s irresponsible and unethical to bring unwanted children into an overpopulated world. During my OB-GYN residency in Florida in the late 1970s, I went above and beyond the usual first-trimester abortion requirement and asked to learn to perform second-trimester dismemberment abortions. When faced with my own unwanted pregnancy before entering medical school, I chose abortion.
Abortions, I soon discovered, can be very profitable. When I got my medical license in Florida in 1978, I moonlighted as an abortionist on the weekends, making more money than I would have made working in the emergency room. I was amazed by the perfect little fingers and toes but treated fetal remains like any other medical specimen — with no emotion. I even performed abortions while I was pregnant. The difference was clear to me at the time: My baby was wanted; my patients' babies weren't. I saw no contradiction in that.
The only time I questioned my line of work was during my neonatal rotation, when I realized I was trying to save babies in the neonatal intensive care unit who were the same age as some of the babies I was aborting.
The path to life
Three patients changed my professional trajectory. I was preparing to perform an abortion on the first when I realized I had already performed three on her in the past — she was using abortion as birth control. I protested doing the fourth, only to be told by my boss that I had no right to deny it to her. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one doing the killing,” I snapped back. I did the killing, but my response startled even me